I think a lot had to do with moving to the Bay Area for job security. After being unemployed after both major tech recessions, I wanted to move somewhere a little less risky. Moving to Bay Area is kind of a Faustian Bargain [1]. You gain better job security and access to companies that you absolutely wouldn't have in FlyoverTown, USA. But you also gain extremely crushing cost of living (eliminating financial benefits of higher salaries) and a workaholic-as-normal culture.
Another thing I realized was that I was simply wrong. Busting ass isn't what lets you become financially independent by your 40s. The peers I know who retired early, largely were lucky in the startup lottery. Some busted ass, most simply lucked into the right company.
1: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Faustian_bargain