In all seriousness, this is a great read, and I was mildly surprised JS was about the same speed as Wasm once TurboFan kicks in. As a compiler engineer, it's nice step back and appreciate the myriad of runtime-based optimizations that can be done with modern JIT compilers.
That being said, assembly script doesn't perform and high-level optimizations upon compilation, so I wonder how fast it will be once fully matured.