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Comment by alexgartrell | Hacker News Reader

This is a stereotype that has never panned out for me. Most of the time when you think the men have "let it go," they've just passive aggressively suppressed it.

I'd rather deal with someone who is obviously pissed at me than someone who is secretly pissed at me any day of the week.

(The passive aggressive thing has been much, much more prevalent amongst nerds, in my experience, compounding the problem)

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You could be right. I have worked with 2 guys whom at some point clearly did not like me. However I respected the fact that it did not taint what I thought of their work, or their feedback on mine.

On the other hand I can remember a colleague of mine not talking to one of our teammates because of a personal reason. This, i think, affects business.

Men tend to compartmentalize more. I may get red-in-the-face mad at a colleague about some stupid design decision that he's trying to ram down my throat and get pretty emotional in our discussions but that doesn't leak over into lunch conversations. That's a different side of the person. It's true that sometimes a guy will have a hard time moving from the work compartment. That's why we have rules like "whoever talks about work takes a shot".

"The passive aggressive thing has been much, much more prevalent amongst nerds, in my experience, compounding the problem"

For me, it's been nerds and women.

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