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By what conceivable mechanism could bitcoin "transfigure" an "intermittent power resource" such as a solar PV panel into being baseload-capable?

If I put a bitcoin on my solar panel does it start producing at night? Will a bitcoin keep the clouds from casting shadows on my solar farm?

I think the idea is that mining Bitcoin can offset installation costs, thereby making it cheaper to install more energy storage, which would help make intermittent energy sources like solar/wind act more like a baseload provider?

I put my bitcoin on a hamster wheel. Turned into a perpetual-motion turbine. Hamster calmly got off and now sits next to it, wearing sunglasses and a little suit, monitoring his hodlings.

Intermittent producers becoming baseload is a contradictio in terminis. No amount of handwaving or cherry picking can change this.

Furthermore my own stand is that presence of miners remove pressure on grid operators to install storage capacity. This means miner presence does the exact opposite of that statement.

you cannot generate electricity from bitcoin