Hacker News Reader

Comment by yoz-y | Hacker News Reader

I'd wager that one of the big variables is proximity. At college, you eat, go out, party, study and do all of the mundane stuff together with a close group of people. At work, after hours you may go get some drinks, but you are not going to go buy TP together.

View on HN

For some reason I've had this long standing belief that love is just a function of proximity.

I think I've subconsciously made it one of my goals in life to disprove this, by finding someone on the other side of the world. I'm not getting my hopes up though.

> finding someone on the other side of the world

First hand experience is that it can be very rewarding if the wave lengths match. It opens a whole new world of experiences and thinking patterns.

It takes a lot more commitment than, say, a relationship with someone from same college/town, so it takes more awareness about the fact.

I've heard a similar argument and I don't think it's entirely wrong, but I think the function is a little more complicated.

Because when you spend enough time around anyone, you realize they suck (because everyone does). So some degree of grace is required as well to maintain love once the proximity factor has peaked.

I think, it's about perceived proximity (car, train, and plane, help to lower that) and the kind of relationship you want.

I have two girlfriends who live two train hours away from me. As the two implies, I'm not living a regular relationship, so I'm inclined to go to greater lengths when finding someone that fits.

Already disproved it (and many many many others), First 4 years of my relationship spent living in different countries. After college we moved in together. I think proximity is only a small part of it at least in a Facetime enabled world.

> function of proximity.

If you define proximity as spending time together IRL or virtually, then I agree.