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kop316

....what? I am honestly having trouble parsing your meaning.

My family mostly has iPhones, and we have several group chats with me in it on Group MMS. They work fine.

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I have many iMessage groups, but it is an almost unspoken rule that you do NOT add a green bubble user to the group.

It downgrades to standard MMS which doesn't have all of the features, AND delivery is hit or miss.

With iMessage I can be fairly sure that all messages will arrive, with MMS groups... it's a shit show. There's been plenty of times where someone whose a green bubble will receive only part of the group messages, or none of them whereas the rest of us do. It all depends on the carrier.

There are some features for group messaging on iMessage that aren’t available in Group MMS. If you add a non-iMessage user to your group, the group downgrades to using Group MMS, which does still work for basic messaging, but the group loses all of its iMessage-exclusive features.

I've been silently dropped from group chats with iphone users. Never knew I was missing until they asked me in person.

I bet they also have side groups without you in it for when they want to share videos/photos or not deal with MMS jank. Nothing personal, we had to do the same thing to my brother and his fiance. Group MMS is busted it has inconsistent delivery, videos and images are compressed to the point of being basically worthless. Sometimes I'll get 3 of 4 people's messages leaving me with a partial conversation, then hours later I'll get the 4th person's messages. Sometimes they never come through. Sometimes I just don't get images, sometimes my wife and I will get different parts of the conversation and can piece it together.

And the thing that causes all that friction is including an Android user in the group text. It's entirely not your fault, but also it's very natural for people to want to exclude Android users when the majority of the group uses iPhone.

I'm really not sure how to respond to this, because you are assuming a lot of unheatlhy family dynamics there.

I will say would hope if you value you relationship with your brother and his fiance, that you actually told him you do that and offered a comprimise on how to chat.

I’d like you to query your family and find out. Of course this is not a reasonable request and I’ll likely never know.

This isn’t to mean you have poor relationships. It’s just extremely likely as it happens in every other group.

I have friends and family who I don’t include in group chats because we’re using iOS features. It’s nothing significant so I don’t tell them about it.

I also have group chats with them. An example is there’s a family group chat about a planned vacation, everyone is on it. It’s pretty important.

I have numerous other group chats with hiking photos and kid photos that don’t include them because they can’t do moment shares and all the stuff that my family members send out from their iPhone.

I don’t think this means we have a bad relationship. I also don’t text my elderly family members who don’t have mobiles, I call them.

It’s just a function of using convenient tools and what’s available.

Similarly I have friends and business groups that only communicate through discord or whatsapp or viber, etc. I would never feel bad because a subset of my friends started a chat on Facebook and didn’t include me. I don’t use that app.

But I also don’t believe that I’m in all group chats with all people I think are important.

I’m not assuming anything unhealthy. We mostly use that chat for sharing videos since MMS is basically worthless for that. But conversations stem from the videos or sometimes people grab the wrong one.

We are fairly good at using the main chat for important things. But again delivery is spotty.

Switching to another messaging infrastructure for the 10 of us is going to be a nonstarter.

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