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I think it's a legitimate question: we all have a large chunk of savings stuck in this game because of perverse incentives set by corrupt/inept US gov. Now what?

The point is that of course there are the outlier days that disproportionately affect gains/losses, that doesn't invalidate the long-term average argument though unless you have some way of identifying those periods in advance. If you could do that then you A) would not tell anyone until B) the SEC came knocking at your door to explain how you turned $1k into $1B over a very short time span.

Hedge with options. You can even out the highs and lows, make your returns predictable with in a tight window and act accordingly.