Now who is the winner and who the loser?
When your body isn't good for anything anymore and you can't even enjoy spending money, being happy about the people you created is more or less the only thing left - and you can really be happy about it. But that's only if you have a good sense of empathy for the happiness of people you care about.
Honestly it's a tiny assumption, nobody's perfect but it takes being terrible for your kids to avoid saying goodbye on your deathbed.
Depends on who's awarding the points.
Could be either one of them. Could be all of them. It's not like they were competing, or even playing the same game.
Winning is a category error at this point.
Not really. I think it's an interesting mental exercise and can see the pros and cons to all paths.
I think the optimal path is a mixture of all three. Work hard enough to afford the life you want to live (ideally at a job that is itself gratifying and meaningful) and then fill the rest of the time with experiences shared with friends and family.