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Kidnapping a Russian national on Russian soil might be doable, but I doubt we would risk the potential political fallout in 99.9% of ransomware cases. If the pipeline attack doesn't provoke it then I don't know what it will take

Please show me the market where "tainted" BTC command a massive ~~premium~~ discount. (Edit: thanks paulpauper)

you mean discount?

Yes! Thank you.

They can just use Monero instead. It's fungible, there's no way to tell which coins are or aren't tainted by criminal activity.

Well that's if they are smart and there has to be a strong market for Monero. BTC is king in that aspect.