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Comment by pitched | Hacker News Reader

For me, the most important one was Diablo 2 because I spent way too much time in it. I got totally pulled into the addictive/gambling side of farming and trading gear, and, there were definitely some opportunities in life I missed because I was spending way too much energy on this.

I know this was the opposite thing you were looking for in your question but what this taught me is how exactly it feels when I get myself caught in this trap. I’m much better now at seeing myself falling into that mindset and then making changes, which has made a world of difference.

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> there were definitely some opportunities in life I missed because I was spending way too much energy on this.

Like what?

I relate to u/pitched on getting sucked into Diablo 2 and missing out on other experiences. I’m still growing up emotionally, and back then I was basically a child, like Tom Hanks in the movie “Big”, and also in graduate school. I missed out on: making more/closer friends, making more connections with people (networking towards career options, etc), physical exercise (I was active but needed more training for my core; this is clear now as I age), emotional maturity, reading books (always been a reader thanks to my parents reading to me a lot, but Diablo 2 and World of Warcraft put a big dent in time spent learning from authors), practicing music (“It’s Never Too Late”, book by John Holt on learning cello later in life), practicing other art, writing letters to friends and family, … the list goes on, and those are the main ones off the top of my head. I tend not to stray into regret about the time I sunk into these games, and instead to reevaluate how I spend my time and attention in the present moment. In looking back, it seems I was hiding from emotions, from unresolved adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), and those game pass-times made it easier to avoid facing my fears (or failure, of being vulnerable, and more I may not yet be aware of). I graduated largely thanks to a couple caring friends who saw my potential and invested in me. I try to be open enough these days to be helpful to others with whom my life experience resonates, so that they might be more-aware of opportunities as they arise, and more-able to switch gears and go.

All of these things hit for me but it’s really that last sentence that I was trying to focus on. Being able to feel this kind of addiction taking hold and switching gears is very, very important. And not just for games, being able to put down a bad novel is the same skill, I think. It’s important to know what you’re getting out of what you’re doing and make sure that it’s helpful.

I don’t think games are bad as a class though. The perfect example in the opposite direction for me was Neverwinter Nights. I had a lot of fun making campaigns, building teams and hosting servers. That first time I tried to get someone to connect to a 192.168 IP is something I’ll never forget!

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