If you care to question any aspect of something that comprises part of someone's identity, then it can easily be perceived as a personal attack on that individual, and discussions where one person believes they are being personally insulted by the other are rarely fruitful.
I don't think it's healthy conversation to "question" what someone [you have just met] is saying in any circumstances.
Questioning without having a developed background and context is a polite way of calling them a liar, isn't it?
"Oh, I haven't experienced that" is less confrontational - you are not expected to have experienced it if you don't hold the same identity.
If the conclusions someone draws for one of these things are based on what they consider their identity, they may be very resistant to hear any contrary opinions.
A healthy (or fruitful) discussion should have room for reasonable disagreement about the meanings and implications of what one has personally experienced. You need not deny the reality of someone’s experience to draw a different conclusion from it than they do.