Hacker News Reader

Comment by BitwiseFool | Hacker News Reader

I might get flack for saying this, but a large number of women's dating profiles just consist of "dog mom", "loves watching The Office", and something about "Jesus". It's shockingly consistent and bland, with very little to engage in conversation about.

Now I will say it's not really anyone's fault. Women looking for men probably don't see what the other women on the site's profiles look like. Likewise my profile might be a trope as well. But men do have to go out of their way to stand out to get a decent chance at a connection.

View on HN

I would put forward that there is probably an interesting person behind most of those dog mom, office watcher profiles. Most people just aren't good at marketing themselves and mass media culture has made people scared or less capable of sharing how they are different from the herd (i.e. interesting).

> mass media culture has made people scared or less capable of sharing how they are different from the herd

You're right. Everyone is interesting once they open up a little.

The goal though isn't to show how you're different from the herd, it's to show that you're better than the herd, for whichever sub-herd you're signaling membership. That strategy preserves maximum choice.

It’s true but men profiles aren’t better. Most people are averagely boring.

Yeah, basic is called basic for a reason

I agree, I absolutely despise dating apps which seem to do well at making most people look overbearingly boring. I've heard from acquaintances that are woman that a lot of profiles of men also tend dot be very formulaic .

Something interesting I've noticed, is that trying to break that mold is considered negative. If you look at subreddits that tend to give out advice (typically to men) on dating profiles, they advise people to do things that make their profiles more generic.

I personally avoid dating apps, because I'm not attractive enough (or at least, not photogenic enough, somehow cameras almost always manage to clown me) and I'm not outwardly interesting enough to attract people by reducing myself down to a few pictures and text snippets.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com