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Comment by LordHumungous | Hacker News Reader

Is it really that hard to just ignore these things when your parents say them? I have Republican parents and I just smile and nod whenever they say something crazy. It's extremely easy.

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That’s fine and dandy if the “crazy” things they say aren’t directly attacking ones way of life or values. My parents seem to have viscerally negative physical reactions to even the sight of black people and gay men (lesbians seem to be fine!?) and it’s disgusting. If conservative news were just about foreign policy and taxes we could have our disagreements but it is more insidious than that because identity politics are strong and getting stronger. There isn’t any room in my life for bigotry against myself and my friends.

Or — relevant to this forum — personal attacks. It doesn't even have to be about normal identity politics stuff.

I get harassed by family about how awful I am for working in “tech” after both platforms axed Trumps accounts. (FWIW, I don’t work for a social media company. I'm extremely proud of my work. It saves lives. There is literally nothing controversial about what I do. But "tech bad" is now a News Max talking point.)

Coming to a thanksgiving near you.

Well I'd say straight up bigotry is something quite different. Dunno what I'd do in that case, sounds difficult.

That really depends on how persistent they are and/or who else is around when they say them.

Small Child, "I want to build a robot that helps sea creatures by keeping plastic out of the ocean."

Grandparent, "What's the point when Iran is just going to nuke us all anyway."

Parent, "Ugh." (spends 5 min. trying to verbally tap dance out of that 'conversation' and then later 30 min. explaining to the child not to listen to their grandparents without telling them to stop listening to their grandparents)

You're describing the difference between treating them like a life-long friend and treating them like a dementia patient. Yeah, I can just nod and ignore them, but mentally I have to acknowledge that the person I once knew and understood so well is fading away or completely gone. This is not an easy acknowledgement to make.

My friend's mother won't hug him, or let him into her house because she thinks he took the COVID vaccine.

How would you recommend he ignore that?

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