I'm afraid that was my first impression as well: this is a person who likes to give instructions to other people and thinks they should all consider it a privilege to work with his start-up.

Clarity and conciseness are good, but the tone here came across as complacent/arrogant to me. Maybe it's a cultural thing; I'm a Brit, and often find US business people way too in-your-face to create a good impression and fit in well over here.

Probably no harm done in this case, because any successful investor surely cares more about the facts than the tone anyway.