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I can see the Far Side Comic that never was.

"Having been burned one too many times by putting lines through shotgun blasts, scientists switched to correlation categories."

Divide study results into tranches with AAA, AA, and B ratings.

Meta analyses as collateralized bonds that let scientists argue whatever they want!

Get a former journal reviewer to claim the tranch of B papers contains, in sum, the same amount of good science as an AAA paper.

I like where this is going