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Comment by Footkerchief | Hacker News Reader

Personally, I'm convinced that parasocial relationships are outcompeting social relationships. You can risk your ego putting yourself out there in real life, or you can let a recommendation algorithm serve you content that gives you the feeling of being seen and understood without requiring any reciprocal vulnerability on your part.

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The problem is that it's just that - the feeling of being seen and understood - the whole point is that there is no actual interaction with you. Depending on your life situation, you can keep up the delusion for quite a while and be happy with it (like the guy who happened an anime character) - things get problematic once you require some actual understanding and life advice.

Even in interactive context, things are treacherous. Sure, you can have this online community who totally get you, who you can talk to about anything and get back compassion, support and useful advice - but do you have any idea who those people actually are, what their life situations are, what values they have and what views they are basing that advice on?

I think parasocial relationships have mostly been an attempt to fill the gap left by the lack of real friendships.

Why not both? The hyperreal is a hard landscape to navigate.

I put 'mostly' and not 'entirely' because I do think it is both.

Much like junk food being a substitute for a lack of real nutrition, what happens when the desire for real nutrition atrophies?

Some people just accept this attempted solution isn't going to fill the hole properly and stick with it anyways.

Others may get frustrated enough to make an attempt to fix the problem for real, only to re-remember how much harder that is in our current society and re-remember why they reached for this attempted solution in the first place.

Do people on both sides of parasocial relationships feel seen and understood?

I thought the definition there was people that gave attention to someone that doesn't return it?

Doesn't really return it, but it feels that way for the viewer. A TV/Youtube/... personality feels familiar because parts of the brain don't care that the familiar tone, repeated in-jokes, ..., all the things that build familiarity, are not for the individual viewer specifically.

My perception is that people on the 'consumer' side of parasocial relationships do feel understood, and that that feeling is their main motivation for taking part in the relationship. The feeling is no less real for being the product of automated market research and micro-targeting, instead of personal intimacy.

"The feeling is no less real for being the product of automated market research and micro-targeting, instead of personal intimacy."

The most dystopian thing I've read all week.

It's often a "marketing" distinction for some of the parasocial relationships how well those "providers" are seen at "responding to their community" and the "outlets for community engagement". It's also how many of those providers make large amounts of their revenue with "paid engagement activities" such as "shout-outs" or an illusion of affecting behavior ("I'll play the game you want me to play if you pay enough" or "On drunk nights enough micro-currency forces me to take a shot or do something embarrassing" or a wide creative range of other ideas).

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