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Comment by fzzzy | Hacker News Reader

Wow, healing this type of thing by writing horror. Thank you. I never really liked horror, but having experienced childhood trauma I think I understand how it helped you and may help me. Thanks.

I really wish more people would actively create non-blood family. I had this once and it helped me tremendously. Seems I need to cultivate that again, but it is much harder where I live now.

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My relationship with horror, I associate with my childhood asthma. We did not have drug coverage so I did not have inhalers so from 4 I'd be up all night (1970s) watching TV. Horror movies were the only thing that distracted me, filled me with adrenaline, to unspiral my attacks. I was very allergic to cats; my stepfather's coke buddy had two Persian cats. The strangers who took me fomented in me hope for people in a way that I never would have had given my upbringing. Also, my mother was Lacanian child psych major and raised me without a Big Other etc. Told me, when I asked about church weddings on TV soap operas, what is it and she told me that it was just a silly TV thing. I believed this until I was fairly old. Cities - for example Toronto where I lived for 20 years - were hard to make friends in. At the same time, if you have always been urban, rural areas can be hard to parse socially. I really appreciate the non-judgment on horror. Thank you.

Thanks for sharing your story. It really helped me. I'm sorry to hear about your stepfather.

In my case, I grew up rural, but when I lived in the bay area for 15 years I had a wonderful non-blood family. I am now back where I grew up and I enjoy it but it is hard being so lonely.

The horror memoir book I wrote made me realize that part of the reason I am where I am - mostly content - is because of my stepfather. I sort of recoiled off him and, in that way, while my peers are in mid-life crisis I think folks like us had a early life crisis that can, if we are lucky to build a non-blood family, make the second half of life smooth. Thank you too!

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