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>Everything feels intellectualized rather than a concrete physical reality

I'm not sure what this means, but you might read

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization

It is said to be a common phenomenon that most people experience at one time or another, and can be associated with a great many conditions or events, from head injuries, to schizophrenia, to drug use.

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Yeah that might be it. What I mean is that I don't feel like I'm actually here - everything feels flat and dream like, rather than in the moment planted in a physical space. I thought this was normal though, aren't most people constantly in that state due to worry about the future or obsessing over the past? And that's the point of meditation, I think... To bring yourself into the here and now. I do some regular meditation and get glimpses of feeling more awake and present, but nothing persistent so far.

>aren't most people constantly in that state due to worry about the future or obsessing over the past

I would think that the alternative that is "in the moment" is social interaction or working on a project.

Or doing nothing!

I have depersonalisation disorder. I got it from drug use. I know that at leadst for me it's not normal. I still remember what it was like before and how different everything is now. I feel the same stuff you are describing.

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