No need to be so hard on yourself! It’s practically a safe bet that Smart Wipers will be a real attack vector any day now, if they aren’t already

I assumed it was a Stuxnet-style attack where they made the wipers go at the wrong speed until they tore themselves apart.

If you could hack the physical wipers to make them troll the head of the government, that would be pretty epic. If nothing else, I'd like to see both the attack chain and the method to use the wipers to troll someone.