Comment by RIDDLERTHIS | Hacker News Reader

Comment by RIDDLERTHIS | Hacker News Reader

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I think I agree with your description.

I'm currently sitting on three job offers - I originally thought it would be easy to choose, but I find myself absolutely paralyzed right now with an inability to make a decision on any of them because I feel as though I will be expected to know more than I think I know, or to perform at a level beyond what I feel comfortable performing at. I've had a lot of great feedback from my peers and those in more junior roles, as well upper management, but still do not feel confident.

How do you if you are capable of moving from a familiar set applications and systems to one where you've never worked with any of the applications and only know the system by theory?

Some folks are pushing me to move entirely out of code and into management but my passion is writing code, working in databases, and designing systems but the opportunities I have before me now pay more for management rather than getting my hands dirty in the code.

Can't sleep or eat because of constant anxiety over "what if I can't perform to their expectations and get fired?"

- How do others deal with this?

It's your job in interviews to accurately describe your abilities and talents. It's the company's job to determine if that's the right fit for them.

If they sent you an offer, I'd just assume I don't have a clear enough picture on what they will expect of me and when, and just trust that they did their due diligence in my evaluation.

Of course, if it doesn't work out, you had three offers so you'll likely be able to get a new job no problem.

Expectations and company culture can be difficult to communicate during an interview. Sometimes the interviewer doesn't even realize what would be relevant to the jobseeker.

If the company fails their 'job', you end up with the black mark of a missing block of time on your resume, plus the major hassle of switching jobs and re-interviewing. It isn't "No problem" as you say. It's a major problem that could set you back by months.

Care less, stop comparing yourself.

And read this: https://stepsandleaps.wordpress.com/2017/10/17/feynmans-brea...

This was actually really helpful and a fun read on my favorite physicist! I appreciate your response, this helped me come to a decision!

1. Don't move into management because of any external pressure because you "ought to". Also don't do it just because you are tired of writing code. Do it when you feel like you have more to offer by building and leading teams and delivering through your people than with your individual delivery. Ideally, get a chance to try it on an interim basis at a company you already have trust in. There is a LOT of stuff about management that is invisible - it's not just telling your reports what to do. Managing upwards is a terrible irritating part of the job, and you can easily become the manager you yourself would hate if you are not careful.

2. I think career progression and satisfaction is all about balancing and trading off playing to your strengths, then focusing on your weaknesses.

If you only play to your strengths, you won't grow in breadth enough. You can become a top subject matter expert, but your utility will be limited to that domain.

If you only focus on your weaknesses, you will become well rounded, but not good at anything, and you won't stand out from the pack in any way.

Only you know which of these two you more need today. Good luck with the decision :)

3. Someone else already mentioned - it's not your job to determine if you are qualified for a position. The company hiring you is. If the work is interesting to you, and they're making you an offer, and you didn't lie - then you are qualified. Learning and stretching yourself would be part of the job.

4. Nothing I say above will fix a foundational anxiety like "what if i'm not good enough and get fired". What helps me with this class of extreme worry is to consider the worst case scenario, visualize it, and recognize that ultimately it's not that bad.

So what if you get fired? Again, assuming you didn't misrepresent yourself, the company would be just as guilty of the mismatch in fit as you. You won't be blacklisted. They might even be willing to give you a referral. But if not, you got 3 offers once. You can get 3 offers again after you get fired. The worst case scenario isn't that awful.

I wanted to thank you for your advice and the time you took out of your day to respond with such a thoughtful reply. I really took it into account with my decision making. Just today, I decided to take a more coding-oriented position and turned down the management roles.

I'm saving your reply into a Word doc so that I can use it going forward. What stood out specifically was your first sentence - I'm not tired of writing code and still feel more passionate about developing rather than managing. It pays less but I feel as though I will be happier in the end.

In any case, I wanted to thank you kind stranger, for your words!

I’ve found it useful to think of not-deciding as a decision. Right now you’re feeling paralysed and unable to decide. But, in a strange way, your decision is to avoid making a decision. Maybe that’s going to protect you from pain. Or maybe it’s going to close doors. Maybe it’ll do both. But thinking about not-deciding as a decision has helped me consider whether that decision to not-decide is working for me. YMMV, of course. I hope things work out for you, whatever route you take.

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