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Comment by TrackerFF | Hacker News Reader

But what influences your attitude?

One thing I noticed when I studied with predominantly upper middle class people (business school) was that they all had what I like to call a competitive "winner" mentality.

Most went into new situations determined to win/succeed, and when I questioned some of my peers on this, I was told that most of them had received positive feedback (albeit being pushed) since they were kids, in most aspects of life. School, sports, social life, etc.

I guess that if you've had cheerleaders around you since you were 5, it must have affected your self-esteem in some positive way.

Now, what I wonder, is how regular people can develop such attitude, more or less on their own. Fake it 'til you make it? Incrementally become successful at things?

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I think it is genetic (with some parental / environment contributors).

If I look at my children, one has a get up and go attitude and the other is low self esteem. This from a very young age. The one with get up and go attitude is up early in the morning. The other struggles to wake.

Two parents with get up and go attitude may pass a genetic trait. Having a lot of energy makes it easier to engage, persevere and compete.

If your kid struggles to wake, is it possible they need more sleep? Is their sleep restful enough? Do they snore or have a tongue tie? (If so, you should have a sleep study done, they may have sleep disordered breathing and need corrective surgery like I do. sleep disordered breathing is highly underdiagnosed, almost everyone who snores has it to some degree.)

In my view, waking up in the morning should never be a struggle. It shouldn’t even require an alarm clock. If you go to bed early enough, so you’re asleep 8.5h before you need to wake up, and you wake up at the same time every day, and you’re still tired, you probably have something affecting your sleep quality or nutrient balance (iron deficiency, hypothyroidism, etc) you need to fix.

It's not so much sleep duration (unless we carry a gene that require 11 hours sleep)

Thanks for the info, I'll look into the tongue tie, this I did not know about. Sleep apnea and stuff I've looked at but it doesn't seem to be that.

The other aspects, I don't know yet. They are young so doctors would not do much yet as they are fine once they get out of bed (maybe they'll grow out of it, I don't know).

I also had this issue most my life. I spent a lot of money checking for deficiencies or known causes. I do on occasion have to supplement b12, vit-d, iron. I came to the conclusion that some people absorb nutrients better than others or if there is a reason then very difficult to find the cause.

There’s an easy diagnostic for tongue tie. Have them open their mouth all the way and then (without closing mouth slightly) try to touch their tongue to the roof of their mouth just behind their front top teeth. If they can, they’re fine in that department. Otherwise, it might be worth taking them to a specialist.

Do you or your kid sleep for 11h at a time? If that happens regularly without a clear cause (e.g. getting very little sleep the night before), please have a sleep study done, that isn’t normal and sleep disordered breathing will slowly kill you and make you stupid. Another indication is sleeping with your mouth open.

Now I am curious :) I'll get a sleep study as my father most definitely would be a candidate for sleep apnea (can hear him stop breathing, his father the same also). I dismissed it as I rarely snore. A while back asked partner to monitor me, they always said I appear to sleep soundly but move a lot, same as my daughter.

11 hours seems normal for the child. For myself I normally sleep 6-8 hours (no choice) though I don't feel rested without 10-11 hours.

We function, but when compared to others I see rise bright and/or energetic in the morning, well it is rare I feel that way.

Have rich parents shielding you from any negative consequence and providing a financial fallback.

This seems overly dismissive.

If you think so, please elaborate why and provide alternative explanations. Just dismissing my statement without any discussion is not only overly dismissive. It also is not a productive way of discussion, it doesn't add anything of value.

My experience says otherwise: children and young people who could rely on their parents' wealth tended to be complacent and bored, or spent their time doing some expensive hobby for fun. They had their life secured, so why bother.

But there were exceptions, too. My grandma used to say that someone was born with a "propeller up their backside" [0], e.g. totally relentless. I met such types of all classes. Not everyone concentrated on business, but they all had a lot of drive towards their goals.

[0] It rhymes in Czech: "s vrtulí v prdeli".

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