Comment by csa | Hacker News Reader

Comment by csa | Hacker News Reader

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I’ve heard lots of stories like this from folks who married into Filipino families.

The general idea I get is that the money of the extended family is considered accessible (at least to some extent) by the entire pool. This seems especially true for medical expenses, but also seems true for “investments”.

The boundaries seem really unhealthy to me, but I’m not part of that culture, so I don’t know how it really works (esp. for families with wealth disparities).

One “feel good” story I have heard was when a friend of mine flew from the US to the Philippines with a large sum of cash that paid for a life-saving surgery for grandmother (had to pay in advance).

I’d love to hear other stories.

You pretty much dotted the i’s and crossed the T’s on this one.

The general idea is too complex for me to give a solid, single piece of advice on how to identify genuine vs not, but what I can tell you is this:

I recently became aware of a very real death of a close Philippine friend’s grandmother and I knew their family couldn’t afford a proper burial. So I requested to talk to the eldest of the family, offered to cover cost (less than the price of a new iPad) with their approval to do so, and for my name to not be included in the justification.

For context - I’ve personally been to the Philippines a few times and seen some of the ups and downs (white American since birth). Never sent that friend or their family anything before nor felt compelled to do this. I’m grateful for what I have in life and for those who have done good toward me, so simply paying it forward.

A significant chunk of the Philippine economy is fueled by remittances from overseas workers (in absolute amount, it's comparable to Mexico and behind only India and China). So it is pretty common for people to "share".

On the other hand, there are people like my father, who worked until he died because he didn't want to rely on his kids for support. He even got mad at me when I got his bank account number from my mom, and did a test wire transfer of $1000.

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