> The thing is, sometimes people are in a crunch and do need something from you. That’s not ideal, but it shouldn’t be considered actually outright hostile.

This is true. But another thing is that it's normal for some rushed people to consider it to be an aggressive action. No amount of educational articles will change that, as it stems from a deeper psychological processes, and that makes this specific example almost unavoidable. It's both normal to politely convey urgency and overreact to it, at least internally. Preventing this internal reaction from spilling out is a part of personal emotional control/development which is out of scope of a pragmatic approach.

But other similar things, like harder pressuring and subtle passive-aggression, that cause the same effects and seem innocent for the senders, can be avoided realistically. Otherwise it'd be disingenuous to blame overreaction on the respondent. The sub-tones do matter no matter how polite the message sounds, after all.