Strike while the iron is hot I guess, but not sure why you you are being such an ass in your copy, it's kind of a turn off, even if it is super cheap.

Maybe it's a trend where if something is super cheap people tend to write in that style, but it kind of erodes trust, unless this is supposed to be a joke site, but the fact that I don't know really hurts your chance to actually get users to want to give you their email or money.

Nothing against being edgy or sweary or whatever, I like it normally, but not when you are trying to sell something on the Internet when you don't have some trust anchor that makes me ignore it like a big name brand.