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Comment by mosburger | Hacker News Reader

During my last job hunt a little over three years ago, I encountered what I think was some subtle ageism or at least discrimination based on family status (lots of questions about my family life when interviewed by the CTO and CEO, ultimately turned down because they didn't think I had the energy/disposition to be devoted enough to the company to put in extra effort when needed).

I ultimately got a job at a better company anyway and probably dodged a bullet, but it's pretty naïve to think it doesn't happen sometimes, especially at startups or places that pride themselves on a "startup mentality."

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Isn’t that technically illegal?

Yeah, it is, but honestly what am I gonna do about it? :/ I suppose I could've reported them to... somebody? Sue them for a job I didn't even really want?

In retrospect I probably should've left a bad review on Glassdoor explaining what happened, but it was so long ago I just sorta forgot about it.

Lots of technically illegal things happen the first time an interviewer sees your face.

I (closer to 50) always straight up say I've got two young kids and that I partake actively in their upbringing. One of them with special needs, even.

For me that helps filter out workplaces that would not be a good fit for myself.

There are a number of workplaces where a good balance is actively supported! When needed, everyone will put in extra but the expectation and in fact reality is to keep things 9-5:30 as much as possible.

Yes, that's illegal.

Move fast and break (the law) things I guess?

Illegal: "we think you're too old to work here"

Legal: "we don't think you have the energy/disposition to be devoted enough to the company to put in extra effort when needed"

Honestly, I'm surprised they even gave a reason. Our HR department has an email template that we must use, which is something along the lines of "we picked someone else, but we'll keep your CV on file, in case anything else opens up". You don't have to give a reason, so if you do, you're only opening yourself up to liability.

Yeah honestly I was surprised too... it was a while ago, so I don't recall if I asked for the reason, or if they volunteered it.

Like I said, I personally see it as dodging a bullet. I probably didn't want to work in that kind of environment anyway. But there may be other people with different situations than mine who would've been rightly miffed by it.

I'm pretty privileged as things go, so I tend to not complain a lot about ageism and discrimination based on family status because there are a lot of folks who have it far worse than I do (even though I recognize it as a legit problem and feel like I've seen it firsthand). This company sorta tipped their hand without saying anything illegal.

Never, ever, EVER ask questions about family life in an interview in the United States, unless the candidate brings it up first.

Asking them isn't illegal per se, but if you do ask them and the candidate isn't hired, you've opened the door to a discrimination lawsuit.

If the candidate brings it up first, it's fair game for conversation, but still off-limits for hiring consideration.

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