You’re hinting that it appears that way, but wasn’t actually that way. So what’s your side of the story? Why is your history not what it seems?
I don’t know your details, but if there’s any truth to the accusations, then it might be worth considering owning it. Something like: A long time ago, I made a big mistake by ________, but I’ve learned from it and am committed to ________. Sure, some people won’t forgive you, but some might.
Again, I don’t know the details, but someone denying something is sometimes harder to believe than someone that owns it. But, if it’s all gaslighting is it too difficult to explain how it’s been “all set up against you”?
Some more details might be helpful if you’d like specific advice.
He didn't make the posts. Someone convinced other people that the comments came from an account he controlled.
> I admit, the evidence is convincing to the onlooker.
That’s what I’m confused about. Why is the evidence so convincing? Why wouldn’t a simple rejection suffice?
“I didn’t write those things and was appalled when I read it for the first time not long ago.”
I feel like there are some key missing details to the story.
Even if he himself didn't post the comments, he must have known that it was going on at the time and probably knows the person who did do it.
"I didn't do it - it was someone else under my name" is the equivalent of "the dog ate my homework". I definitely agree with you - there are key missing detail - conveniently so.
If you are ever accused of something, rightly or wrongly, never accede and never give in.
It sounds like it worth a try to just own it though? from skimming the posts here if your truly considering changing your name, it doesn't seem like it would make things that much worse for you.
maybe some mental health/therapy stuff if you can get it. sounds traumatic, working with someone might help get things straightened out, less stress etc?