Comment by khazhoux | Hacker News Reader

Comment by khazhoux | Hacker News Reader

Wonderful essay.

Tangentially, I found this interesting:

> There were 100 or more people in the audience, which should have been unnerving and intimidating, but I felt fearless and entirely at home. I felt safe on stage and I always have since.

I've played music my whole life, but have always suffered from stage fright. Every trumpet solo assigned to me in band was a panic-inducing punishment. My best friend commented to me after one performance for the whole school: "Hey, this time it wasn't so bad!" (my shaking). Even now, as an adult, I recently dove back into the fray pre-pandemic and played with some people at work in front of co-workers... and after the performance I packed up my instrument and left without looking any of my bandmates in the eye. The shakes grabbed hold about 30 seconds into the performance, and stayed till the end.

All this to say: the concept of feeling "safe" on stage, is just inconceivable to me. The stage is probably where I feel least safe in all the world.

and, these days, going before executive reviews at work is my recurring stage :-(

> I've played music my whole life, but have always suffered from stage fright.

The article seems to be tying the young Patrick Stewart's ease on stage to escaping his abusive home life. He is open about this painful topic (1)

> I loved to escape into the world of fiction and out of my dull, uncomfortable and sometimes scary home life, living with an abusive father.

> Perhaps it was because I wasn’t being Patrick Stewart (on stage)

i.e. His benchmark for "feeling "safe" on stage" was probably very different to yours, as he was not "safe" at home. It's sad but he worked with it.

1)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPzVUGE3dds

I've played piano and guitar in rock bands on and off for decades, and honestly, some level of nervousness never goes away unless you're drunk enough not to have the false certainty that you won't screw up -- which is exactly when you screw up (but don't care as much, because you realize most people don't notice).

I've also had some experience with acting, and can affirm that it's far less anxiety inducing than playing music, if you know your lines. When you're onstage as a musician, you are yourself. If you're an actor, assuming you know your lines, you can get lost in the character and a lot of the anxiety of being judged goes away.

There's a difference between acting and public speaking/music!

I've just finished reading Impro: Improvisations and the Theatre from Keith Johnstone, one of the pioneers of impro theatre, and he delves deep into how actors literally become their role or the mask they wear, close to old religious trance state. Stewart alludes to this state: on stage he isn't Stewart, he was Hopcroft Minor, literally.

Playing an instrument or speaking publicly is a bit different, you're still you.

For me it's safe because it's just me,my preparation and the time I have. There is nothing more you can do at that point, the outcome is more or less decided and I can be there. Just there and no where else.

It's like the top of a roller coaster. You may hate what's about to come next but your strapped in for the ride no matter what. Except on stage you are not just a passenger. There's a sense of being totally in control and of things being out of your control.

You have to feel confident in your playing. Practice until it feels as natural as walking down the street. Never perform on stage anything that is at the peak of your abilities, always perform what is safely within your comfort zone.

If I had to read Shakespeare on stage I would be terrified too. But when I pick up my instrument I get a sense of calm that washes away any fear. That only comes from practice.

> You have to feel confident in your playing. Practice until it feels as natural as walking down the street. Never perform on stage anything that is at the peak of your abilities, always perform what is safely within your comfort zone.

There must be different types of stage fright... this ain't that. What I'm describing is uncorrelated with comfort/confidence in the piece. It's just a very strong physical response to the spotlight.

The advice that comes up often to control the physical effects (shaking, tight breathing): propanolol. Haven't tried it yet.

I recommend Effortless Mastery to help with performance anxiety. It really resonated with me.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effortless_Mastery

Adrenaline rushes are addictive, and free. Enjoy them! Being terrified on stage is what makes me want to do it. Once you lose this feeling, being on stage loses its appeal. Trust me, it happened to me. It sucks.

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