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Comment by kqr | Hacker News Reader

Mirroring is different from what your parent comment talks about. Mirroring is simply about repeating, verbatim, the last part of what someone said. So as a response to your comment it might be something like "Conversation tactics."

Your parent comment seems to be talking more about summarising someone else's point in your own words, which is a deeper reflection on what someone means, and an even stronger signal that you're actively listening. (That summary is what gets you a "that's right" in the terminology of Voss. Mirroring is used to get your counterparty to expand on what they're saying, not just go "that's right.")

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If I'm understanding you correctly, Mirroring is simply about repeating, verbatim, the last part of what someone said, right?

That's right. It's repeating the last part of what someone said.

Or did.

E.g. you are on a business meeting and your counterpart just took his glass of wine and sipped. Mirror it and sip your wine a few seconds later. Or do it with your hot date.

Mirroring works. Most of the time.

As apparently does using someone's name. Most (not all) people like hearing their name. Try to find out if they like or dislike hearing their name and either use their name a lot or very very seldomly.

I.e. for most people even in a 1 to 1 conversation say "Thank you Brent" and not just "Thank you".

I do like hearing my name but find salespeople repeating it incredibly annoying, mechanical and insulting.

If you’re pitching me your new product you get one “that’s a great question” and one ridiculous insertion of my name before you get a hard no.

Coincidentally these crappy tactics usually go with crappy products so it’s an easy win.

Entirely serious question; is this intended to work over text? It might just be me, but seeing the same text highly visible in two comments by two people makes it stick out in an awkward way.

It wasn't about repeating the last part -- it was about repeating the important main things in what the other person said.

I think that can work in text.

(Or repeat the things you want to hear more about. And s/he will tend to understand and talk more about that.)

heh, I see what you did there :)

On a side note I found the book to be interesting, and I used few of his techniques to negotiate price of my now current house.

That's right. Just what you said, that is right. :-)

No, mirroring also includes copying non-verbal cues. And sometimes, suddenly not mirroring is also effective to draw attention and make a point.

> suddenly not mirroring

Sounds like a candid camera experiment waiting to happen

Anti mirroring the interviewers / recruiters during an interview

No, instead, it's repeating the things the other person said that s/he thinks is important.

Which can be the last things, or not.

It's not enough to be a parrot -- one also need to understand the other person's perspective: what among the stuff s/he said, does she care the most about

(At least how I remember it)

We used to call it discovery agreement when I was at IBM.

Summarizing what they said (show you understand it) but like you're just now discovering the truth behind it - together with them.

The only sales technique that's really stuck with me.

> Mirroring is different from what your parent comment talks about. Mirroring is simply about repeating, verbatim

well, that might be conversational mirroring, idk, but mirroring is a body language phenomenon, where one person crosses their arms, then the other does, one crosses legs, and the other one does, etc.

it's something people do naturally, unconsciously, and it indicates agreement.

then, it is suggested by salesman types, one should engage in a conscious (cynical) version of it where you mirror somebody on purpose, to make them think that you are in sync with them.

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