Dystopian B2B Bullshit Generator | Hacker News Reader

Dystopian B2B Bullshit Generator

phrasegenerator.com

64 pointsQuadrupleA19 comments

Open articleView on HN

Squeeze more dollars from every visitor with personalized advertising insights.

Well, yeah. Isn't that how it usually works? :)

Degrade privacy across cloud platforms using weapons-grade measurements.

Depressingly, it's way too real to be credible...

> Gather more upvotes from every viewer using best-practice microservices.

Pretty sure this just told me the secret to securing HN Karma.

Don’t forget to add “rust” in there too.

   Extract more Benjamins from every one of your old friends, 
   with best-of-breed tracking innovations.

What.

Yeah extracting Benjamins is one of my favorite phrases in this generator, here's another:

> Extract more Benjamins from every warm body with data-driven engagement statistics.

I can't tell the difference with LinkedIn posts

This is great, also the other categories. But it lacks porn.

Like Dallas does Debbie in Denver, or something like that :-)

Let's play name that company:

Share metrics between business units with collaborative solution platforms.

OP: this is yours right? Did you just add the b2b one or something?

I did, yeah, I posted it the day I finished it. I think the mods moved it off the front page a couple hours in because the discussion was trending too humorous / not substantive enough.

“Squeeze more peace of mind from each visitor with aggressive chatbot services.”

Ship it!

It has other fun features, like catchy headline generator. "Hillary Clinton’s 8 Titilating Woodworking Tips"

> "Maximize your dynamic results using weapons-grade advertising strategies."

Sounds pretty valid tbh

Extract more personal data from each affiliate with full-stack data insights.

Finally, now I don't need to stress about what to write in my resumé.

Crypto version please!

Here's one with crypto potential: Add value to your dynamic contexts with global microservices.

  Duke of Punishment (Action Movie)

LOL

Reply on news.ycombinator.com