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> with humans weighing in at 0.06 gigatons

At that time, perhaps. If average human mass is 30 kg, with 8 billion of us, we mass about 0.24 Gt.

In TFA they count 7.6B humans, but the mass is only the "dry-weight of carbon". So I guess the average person only contains about 8kg of carbon.

“Ugly bags of mostly water” is how an alien in Star Trek once described us.

Not merely “water”: it’s the very ocean in my veins.