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Comment by joshuaheard | Hacker News Reader

We tried taking the phone from our teenager as punishment for something and it was like taking a needle from a heroin addict.

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Wouldn't the same apply to adults though? "Phone" can be used for a lot of different things, including some that are harmful, but basic communication with his peers is IMO essential and denying that is a significant problem (especially now in a pandemic).

Absolutely. This happened just last week and it was the worst -- door locked and barricaded shut, would not eat dinner, wouldn't talk to us for hours, just the worst. Terrifying parent moment and all we did was put our foot down. So hard to set the limits and enforce them.

I think it is because loss of phone also means social isolation during that period.

Public desktop computer, group chat / video call apps only?

Especially with COVID, that pretty much cuts her off from all of her friends, leaving her only able to talk with her parents and her younger brother who she can't relate to instead of venting out to her friend and cooling off.

Her school, extracurricular and free time with her social circle were already taken out from her and now the phone? And we all know whatever social life her friend circle has won't stop. She's just going to be left out. Once again.

I get that this is HN and a lot of people here probably didn't care to be left out (or convinced themselves they didn't).

This also assumes that the OP lives in a place with strict COVID restrictions. In plenty of places in the country you can still meet up IRL, and schools are back fully in-person. In those cases, this is little more than just basic grounding.

Indeed. She goes to high school every day, is fully vaccinated, and sees her friends all the time. And we were only taking the phone for the night and maybe the next day... if she didn't make her lunch and shower.

It was literally just taking the phone away for the rest of the day, that's it. So, no.

So basically like getting grounded, which I thought was the worst that could happen but looking back it was probably for the best and made me rethink some bad behaviors.

I believe the key there is the fact that my parents made it clear why I was being grounded and spent the time explaining it to me.

At least you know it's an effective incentive.

Turns out it isn't because my teen was willing to go nuclear rather than respond to the incentive.

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