This is hilarious.
I did this because I hate freedom.
I did this because I hate freedom.
(I'm isaacs, node core dev and author of the url parsing module, and closer of the bug in the OP.)
It doesn't matter whether you think you're contribution-hostile, it matters whether the guy who tried to contribute thought you came off as hostile, which he clearly did.
Getting a 'why?' and an immediate close certainly would give me a poor first impression, as a developer sending a patch for something I thought was an actual bug.