Yes that is because the behavior is pathological and repetitive. I realized this at some point, it’s kind of like a self imposed delusion. Every day you tell yourself in your head that you suck, you’re worthless etc.

Yet there’s really no justification for it, things aren’t actually getting worse. In fact, my most depressed years were a kind of stasis where nothing external was really changing. The lack of change is what eventually caused what can only be described as mental paralysis to take hold. There is no light in the tunnel because your brain is expecting a continuation of the status quo.