How big is this company?
Is it a small company with few developers where you hold the CTO title because you're a founding developer or the most senior developer? If so, you might be missing the reassurance that came from your previous life where you had a manager to check your work, peers to review it, and feedback from people who didn't report to you:
> When I look at a new feature I just think that I will make it shitty or get called out on not doing things the "right" way.
At a startup, the "right" way isn't necessarily the most textbook-perfect code. The right way is getting features shipped as soon as possible with the code being good enough to be understandable, stable, and maintainable. You need to be careful about spiraling into decision paralysis or drawn out refactor iterations and instead focus more on shipping features to users, focusing effort where it matters for the business, and avoiding unnecessary complication in search of perfection. Perfectionism will kill startups slowly.
If you're the CTO of a big company with many developers reporting to you, then it's time to start letting go of the developer responsibilities. Trying to manage the code too closely or trying to insert yourself into the development teams that you're supposed to be managing doesn't work at scale. Focus on the bigger picture: Driving objectives, mentoring developers, hiring, monitoring output, and other leadership roles. Don't let a desire to control the code interfere with your management duties.