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Speaking of quality, I bought a 4+ star review can opener from Amazon that couldn’t open a single can I used it on. Good times.

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You should try one of these P-38 can openers they use in the army [1]. A bit challenging to get the hang of, but they'll last the rest of your life and inexpensive to boot.

[1] https://burnsarmysurplus.com/product/p38/

Swiss army knife can opener has lasted me 20 or so years (along with the knife, itself). A similar design.

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