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Comment by w1 | Hacker News Reader

+1 to this. I was homeschooled K-8, and the loneliness I experienced then puts a significant strain on my relationship with my parents to this day.

I think I agree with the parent comment when I say that homeschooling seems to be looking for pennies of potential academic advantage in front of the steamroller of serious maladjustment.

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Do you think you have also gained something from that loneliness? Better abilities for introspection, for example, or some particular thinking patterns that other people seem to lack?

Great question. I think the most noticeable impact on my personality is a strong fear of being alone, which has led to me sometimes prioritizing my relationships over personal achievements. I regretted this impulse when I was younger, but I have come to appreciate it now.

This also gave me a “growth mindset” at an early age. I realized in ~9th grade that I had no idea how to hold a conversation with someone, which forced me to view my social skills as something dynamic which could be improved. People are now very surprised to hear I was homeschooled, so I think my efforts to improve my communication skills have born fruit.

I can only speculate on how much the rest of my current personality was influenced by that experience; either directly, or from secondary effects like reading a lot (in place of socializing) at an early age.

That all said, these are potential positive consequences, observed in retrospect, from what was an extended adverse and painful event. I have been very fortunate with my outcome, but nearly all of my friends and family members who were homeschooled were have had serious issues, ranging from mild maladjustment to suicide.

If anyone is seriously considering homeschooling and wants to hear a contrary opinion, please feel free to send me an email :)

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