Stop going for that PR. I don't even know what a PR is, but my guts tell me that you should stop pursuing that. Start making yourself useful. Do small stuff, support other people. The guidance you miss - start giving other people guidance. Ask for advice. Don't think you know it all.

The new very successful startup, the many high-performing people. Is that the truth or is that appearance? Fake it until you make it. That may apply to people, but also to companies.

Find a hobby, something outside your workfield that gives meaning to your life. If I hear you, you are successful, but you choose the wrong companies. If they pay you and don't complain, then you are a success in my book, much more successful than I ever was.