Comment by diminium | Hacker News Reader

Comment by diminium | Hacker News Reader

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I have some good news and I have some bad news for you. The good news is it is possible to be some type of success while raising your family. Lots of people do it all the time. The bad news? The success will be limited compared to that person who just focuses on their work. True, that person has other problems to face which may destroy it and they are a rare breed of people but they must make a sacrifice in order to obtain it.

Why is this? Simple math. 24 Hours In A Day x 365.25 Days in a Year x 75 or so years in life = 657,450 hours in life. That's it. You maybe lucky and get more but chances are you'll get less than 657,450 hours.

Every time you use an hour for one task, you give up an hour for another task. One hour spent on your family means one hour lost working on your project. Then again, if your lucky, you may find inspiration in that one hour with your family that may help your idea but that diminishes if your work dwindles into areas which have very little to do with human interaction (e.g. Highly Abstract Math or Physics or Chemistry).

Just my two cents.

"success will be limited compared to that person who just focuses on their work"

Exactly. A person pursuing a career that is well laid out (such as medical school and then practicing as a physician) knows what they have to do to succeed. As an entrepreneur there is no road map. You have to have plenty of irons in the fire and will end up wasting time on things that won't pan out. You have to be selfish and put the success of the venture above everything else.

This is the correct answer. Sure you can work smarter; sure, you can come up with superior ideas; but time is almost always the limiting factor in execution.

It's unpopular to rally against the cheerleading "you can do it!" crowd here, but the reality is that you've made a choice to have a family, and that choice carries some consequences with it. Some people who have families choose to pursue their work above all else anyway, but this approach often carries the cost of divorce, resentful children, and some degree of social ostracism.

"degree of social ostracism"

because people understand when someone works for someone and has to work but they don't understand when someone works for themselves and chooses to work.

or because if you've already started a family you are generally expected to spend a certain amount of time looking after them/enjoying their company. People get socially ostracised/divorces/estranged children for working too hard at the office too.

Kids grow up really fast, and there are no do-overs.

So true. And I can say without a shred of doubt that I wouldn't trade what I have with my kids for ten facebooks.

I'm in this position but I'm not going to let it stop me. The best lesson I've learned from HN is that I don't have to do it all myself (even as a solo founder). I need to learn how to outsource intelligently. Not there yet, but the wheels are slowly turning....

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