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> 2) rely on being reminded about anything important by something or someone else.

Isn't that what a to-do list is—just a reminder of anything important by something else?

No, it’s a reminder from your past self. For example: at any given time, I’m usually supervising 6 to 10 students at the same time. In one day I might have 4 or 5 meetings, and I might promise, to each of them, to do something until our next meeting. But in the next two days I have other stuff to do, so I’ll only get to it a few days later. Each of these promises is important to me, and I don’t want to let them down, but expecting myself to remember each of them is a self-sabotage. I need a todo list. Also saying that “if I forgot is because it wasn’t really important” would make me an awful supervisor.

One of the most impactful signals we can give to others is writing information and promises that arise between us.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm writing down that I promised you that book so I can get it for you for your birthday."

"Oh, that's awesome. Thank you."

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