Comment by ydhddhtchgvbdc | Hacker News Reader

Comment by ydhddhtchgvbdc | Hacker News Reader

Vasectomy worked great long-term as a not-to-do. No magical children have magically become manifest.

Marriage is on that list too. Also working swimmingly and comes highly recommended.

Your mileage may vary.

It's just something I noticed. Marriage and children did something to people. Especially to men. Whatever it was, it wasn't good. They all seemed to prematurely age and become miserable. I tell myself the good is private, you can't see the good of family life because you are not privy to it. I don't know if I'm wrong. I also tell myself that this is a construct of our society, not of man. That we should want to have children, that this shouldn't be a fundamental part of our lives. Yeah it isn't it, it's a misery. That a child can so completely trap us financially and otherwise is a great sadness. Money being more valuable than life. The high priests of finance determining how much life there can be.

This seems to be the case in many richer countries, typically the ones where birth rates are low. It's ironic that once a nation becomes wealthy enough, children are a luxury.

The part about marriage may be a product of culture. A married couple is meant to be a single unit, not two individuals on the same team, who have to compromise on what direction they're going.

It's quite different in a developing country. My kids were born in private hospitals, go to private school, and I pay health insurance for them. I spend on the high end on kids and the cost is still less than I spend on "office equipment".

I guess back on topic, my not to do list would be moving to places like the US, Japan, or Germany, where raising kids would be unaffordable.

Happy or miserable would be subjective based on how the person takes it. But I can tell you the "prematurely age" part is simply because of the amount of work it takes to raise a child. This is universal, for all children. I don't think anyone who doesn't have children can correctly estimate the amount of work and effort a child takes to raise. That amount of work takes a toll on your body and the aging is the result you can observe of that parent.

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