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"I was asleep. The expectation that I would see it, much less respond to it, is crazy."

Pre-declare available working hours, and adhere to them.

I have a cronjob that signs out of {slack, email, zoom, ...} at a particular time of day, my work accounts aren't attached to my personal devices, and i respond promptly to communication during working hours. I genuinely don't see work-related comms when i'm not working, and my work availability is in my slack profile, my internal email signature, and in my outlook calendar.

Don’t let it get to that state? If you can’t, find a new team?

ignore it