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Comment by atiragram | Hacker News Reader

"But not anymore now. I feel like my time for everything is running out." -> what is this everything you want to have time for? Do you wish to be in a relationship? since you mentioned it at the beginning.

When I don't feel excited about the world, similar to what you describe, you meditate or spend time in nature. Reading about geology or trees has opened my eyes about how little we grasp about the nature of the universe and how focused on our own short lives we are while we are actually not much important. It's a shift in perspective. Usually, it helps me remember the small things that I still can influence rather than those beyond my control.

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> what is this everything you want to have time for? Do you wish to be in a relationship? since you mentioned it at the beginning.

I don't know to be honest. Perhaps what's nagging at me is the lack of optionality. There are certain things I am now too old to do, like go to a school as typical student, go crazy at festival or clubs, go backpacking and easily meet new people, and have casual relationships. It's not that I want to do these things. I don't feel any desire for them. But the fact that I don't have the option to do them is depressing to me.

I dont get why you feel kike you dont have those options? I see plenty of people in their 40s and 50s going to festivals or going backpacking. The only one stopping you, is you.

I can resonate with this. What I remind myself when I have these thoughts is:

A) Life is like an evolving game with many rounds. Some doors close in your 20s, other doors open in 30s and so on. See what interests you outside and off the screen, once you find this, connect with other people who like to do it. For eg. in my city a lot of tech workers are into bouldering and hiking. You will see as you make friends in your age group, there is a whole bunch of new doors opening now that you are in your 30s.

B) Actually most of the things you list are totally still doable even _if_ you did want to do them. School as a typical student maybe not, but why be typical? I've met backpackers in their 60s, age truly is just a number.

You have the option to do all of these things.

I went back to school in the evenings when I was your age after being unfulfilled in my career. Turns out part-time education is full of people ranging from 20-somethings who chose the wrong career when they weren't working, to 50-somethings who just want to do something else.

I'm 40, most of my friends are mid 30s. When festival season comes around in the Netherlands, you can be damn sure people my age are going out there. Heck, we're the generation that started that when we were teens. Sure, I can't stay up until 6 in the morning anymore, but that doesn't stop us from going out until 3 am and hopping from bar to bar. I'll take the weekend recovering over not being able to go out anymore :)

You're not that old. The option isn't the problem, it sounds like your lack of desire is it. My best advice is take some time off, maybe a year since you've got the reserves, read some philosophy, slow down, figure out what matters to you.

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