Comment by ReactiveJelly | Hacker News Reader

Comment by ReactiveJelly | Hacker News Reader

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As a trans woman (assigned male at birth, lived as a boy / guy for 20+ years) - I barely know what "textile" is. It means "fabric", right? It's the thing that textile factories make.

> Do you not have curtains or a couch?

The house has the same curtains it had when we moved in. They're ugly, and I just ignore them. Except for the front window, where my spouse changed them for some reason.

My old apartment also had the same curtains it always had.

I have 3 couch-ish objects:

- A $100 futon that I bought when I first moved out to use as a combo bed / couch. My spouse also replaced the mattress on there, probably with something cheap off Amazon.

- A very cheap loveseat of unknown origin that a friend gave me.

- An old sleeper couch from my parents' house that they didn't want.

I think Jacquard is the guy who invented the loom that they teach about in every CS 101 class.

But no, I don't know what damask and Chenille are.

I actually love clothes shopping! I just don't think about furniture. It's so heavy and bulky. I love buying dresses but I don't think about fabrics. I know there's cotton, and denim, and fake leather, and then there's fabrics I never think about.

I don't decorate the house, I decorate myself. Sparingly.

Edit: For shoes I have "boots", "sandals", "sneakers", and "heels". I go to the thrift store and see what looks good and fits, and then I buy it. Sometimes I buy new shoes too, but I don't like dress clothes, so I just eyeball it without thinking about names.

Respectfully, can I ask a couple questions?

- Do you see yourself as a "new" or "recent" woman who's learning about female things now? (E.g. did you know what a pessary was? Did you read women's magazines in the before times?)

- Did your preferred sex (e.g. women for straight males) remain the same? Do you identify as straight or gay (or none of the above?)

It's none of my business, other than it helps me situate you (and maybe inductively other trans women) in these male-female ML things.

Sure, I love questions.

I still don't know what a pessary is. I didn't really read women's magazines before I transitioned, and I still don't.

I feel fine being a tomboy with "guy" interests. It's not an end goal of mine to go "stealth" (That is, pass as cis 100% of the time) or fit in to any female-coded social group in particular. Transitioning is something I do for myself, so presenting feminine but still being a little bit "masculine" in my interests and hobbies just doesn't bother me.

I've always been attracted to women, so I went from being a straight guy to being a lesbian. There's a few specific heterosexual scenarios where I can identify with the woman now, but not enough to say I'm attracted to men in general.

> it helps me situate you (and maybe inductively other trans women) in these male-female ML things.

Yeah I'm definitely speaking for myself here. The only things that are likely to be true of all trans women is that they use (or want to use, if they're still in the closet) she/her pronouns, and that they were not assigned female at birth.

Everything else can vary:

- Lots of trans people want to be stealth. It's safer on average, but I live in a queer-friendly town

- Not everyone wants to reclaim "queer" but personally I don't want to type out LGBTQIAA+ every time...

- Some trans people report that their sexuality changes (or they realize they're actually asexual) after they begin transitioning or after they begin hormone therapy. It isn't clear what percent of this is caused by the hormones and what percent is purely psychological.

- Most trans women don't say things like "I used to be a guy". I don't have an internal sense of gender, so I don't feel like the common story of "I was always a woman on the inside" applies to me, even though it applies to many trans women. When I was younger, people assumed I was male and I was fine with it, so I don't feel wrong to say I used to be a boy or used to be a guy. I transitioned when I decided that I didn't need an internal sense of gender - If I wanted to be a woman on the outside, that's all I needed, and maybe for me in particular, I only have an outside.

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