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Comment by wly_cdgr | Hacker News Reader

I think you main point stands, but way more men have gay sex than are willing to self-report as gay or bi in a government survey

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That just increases the incidence relative to straight men.

The bigger question is whether they're reporting it as they join infection statistics.

Is that actually true? The last data I saw on this indicated that there are a huge number of people falsely claiming to be bisexual. That is, relationships amongst the population claiming to be bi are overwhelmingly hetero. The young especially think there are (real or perceived) social benefits from claiming to be gay or bisexual even when they're not.

Do you have the data for this? My experiences have been precisely the opposite. I have spoke to many bisexual men married to women on Grindr who were looking to cheat on their wives (or fantasised about doing it).

My experiences point to a lot of bisexual men living in the closet and are ashamed of what they are. I think guys in that situation typically want the heterosexual lifestyle of kids and marriage, but the thrill of sex with a guy on the side. There have been very, very few guys I've seen on there who are married to a woman who are able to openly explore sex with men with their wife's consent.

I can't really comment on women who are bisexual however.

Were those men genuinely bisexual, I wonder? Gay men pretending to be straight and ending up in family marriages is a very long standing issue, or was at least, I thought the "lavender marriage" was dying out.

https://slate.com/human-interest/2016/05/over-80-percent-of-...

"The massive 2013 Pew Research LGBT Survey found 84 percent of self-identified bisexuals in committed relationships have a partner of the opposite sex, while only 9 percent are in same-sex relationships"

101 times?

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