I don't think pressuring teenagers to have sex is a good idea. I don't mean to by puritanical about this, but I've got the feeling that our culture is way too focused on sex, and especially its commoditization and the objectification of people. I think a lot of people would do well to learn some restraint and self-control. Sex is an important part of humanity, but it's not the be-all-end-all. You can also have a fulfilling life without it, or having it later in life. I think the ridiculing of virgin boys/men is particularly harmful.
Find out what works for you, and do it responsibly. Know that you're a full and valuable person on your own. You don't need to have a girlfriend in order to be valued. You don't need to have had sex to be a man. Do talk to people, but not with the focus of getting laid.
If I would change something about my teenage years, I would have preferred to learn a better programming language than Basic and made more cool stuff.
Casual dating is really easy to experience in high school and college. It can still totally happen later (it did for me), but there will be significant headwinds for many people, both physiological (e.g. balding for many men) and emotional (e.g. just finding people who want to settle down asap because their clock is ticking, rather than fooling around with you for fun).
Those early years should be seen, in my opinion, as a unique time to freely experiment with everything you can get away with (clearly not talking about illegal or harmful stuff) rather than squander them laser-focused on becoming a coding wiz kid. You have time for that.
I agree with most of your post, but I would rephrase that sentence significantly. Not everybody is a born Casa Nova and fully comfortable in their own skin during their teenage and young-adult years. "Really easy" does not apply to everybody.
All forms of media also greatly amplify the fear of missing out, having missed out, and makes it seem as if everybody else is/was 'doing it' and having fun.
In reality, if they did 'party it up' back then, now they would probably be recommending you do the opposite and dedicate all your efforts to studying.
The truth is, no matter what you do, you can and probably will have regrets.
Recognizing this, being more in the present moment, cultivating equanimity are some of the ways of dealing with it.
Just to dig into this part, I think media dramatically over-represents how much sex everyone is having, which causes people to think they missed out on a lot more.
The average heterosexual person has had sex with 4-6 people (lesbians are about the same, gay men are higher). It's not hard to find a TV show where the characters are above that amount in a month, which I think gives the impression that people are having sex with a lot more people than is really realistic.
Likewise, the average age for losing virginity is 17, so it's not uncommon for people to be virgins in college and beyond.
That's not to cast aspersions on anyone above or below, but I think it's important to keep in mind that there's a separation between real life and movies about college.
lots of rich well off nerds here have absolutely no charisma and the only women they'll get are gold diggers or foreigners who want a green card, unfortunately. so you have a load of nerd regret.
I remember, when I first moved to the west, I was staying with an European family. The husband-wife duo were so tensed for weeks that their 17 year old son did not have a girlfriend! This was new to me. They finally relaxed when he went with a girl for dinner one day :)
In the east(at least in India) the saying is "Pehele naukri, phir chokri" meaning, "First job/income, then girl". Almost all parents(and also the society) expects that guys/girls first have decent education and foundation to get a job/income. And then they can think of cuckooing.
So, I don't understand where are you getting your signals from when you say "everyone" and who your target audience is.
(Of course there's a difference between sex, relationship and marriage, and I'm aware I'm somewhat conflating them in this discussion.)
Plus, getting laid is a soft skill, and it's more difficult to pick up soft skills.
That said, I don't remember seeing that many comments specifically advising someone to get a girlfriend. I have seen a few posts about guys having trouble finding a girlfriend, or at least one that they have a connect with, now that they are successful and mid-twenties.
Relationships are partly a matter of skill, which comes with plenty of mistakes and experiments. You can learn later, but it's more difficult. Generally people expect you to be somewhat proficient at courtship.
> Is it really that worth it spending time on asking someone out instead of coding or doing something else cool?
It's your life. Do whatever you like. That being said, try a lot of things. Who knows what you find satisfactory.
Still, generic advice isn't applicable to everyone, so if you honestly find staying home and writing code more in line with your guiding principle than spending time with a girl, then sure, do that instead.
What? Where?
Secondly, interaction with opposite sex is by default a vital part of our nature. At list our biological nature. And this part has tremendous influence on our decisions and on our life, it’s a part of our identity wether we like it or not.
Although it’s not the only part, therefore for some people it’s okay to never have a girlfriend/boyfriend and still have a happy meaningful life.
But i guess on forums you see what majority of population has to say.
They are not saying this.
They are saying as adults they could go back and easily get laid with teen girls. Freaky Friday style. Or such.
You do not have their magic abilities (To pick & code in a teen body) so their advice does not apply to you.