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Comment by elmerfud | Hacker News Reader

What an incredibly wasteful way of cleaning your butt. Probably brought to us by the same people who advocate throwing away perfectly good things to support heavy industries because the new things make them feel like they're being environmental.

Use a bidet you ass wiping heathens! Far less wasteful even if you feel the need to pat your ass dry with a few squares of paper when you're done. After some practice you'll realize that the butt is pretty good at self drying and shedding water.

I just had to come back and edit this to note that smearing of the poop thing seems to ingrained in the US mindset and thinking your "clean". The US has potable water and electric nearly everywhere, yep people smear the poop. Whereas you can travel to some of the poorest counties and villages in the world with none of those things, and the people still understand you wash your ass after you shit you don't just smear it around a bunch.

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Was coming here to make this same comment lol. Not just wasteful, but inefficient and insufficient!

I got my first bidet at an apartment several years ago. Some people thought it was weird and my roommate always had a funny line he would use to change their minds:

"If I took a piece of poop and smeared it on your arm right now, would you just take a thin a piece of paper and wipe it around a few times? NO, YOU WOULD WASH IT OFF"

This is the bidet I recommend and give as a gift to the bidet curious: https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B0...

I of course now have a 300 dollar one with a heated seat and warm water, which I can't recommend enough.

Many people don't realize that the "quality" of poop has a lot to do with what you eat. When you have a proper diet this cleaning ritual gets greatly simplified.

Ability to wash my butt is one of the best perks of remote working. I'm not going back to the office.

Many EU toilets are small and in old buildings (no electricity near toilets). So ymmv.

Get a toilet seat bidet. It's mechanical. Doesn't need electricity, only water... which is already present!

We have what's supposed to be a pretty good one of those. It's a gross, annoying extra thing to clean and hits entirely wrong for me, so I can't use it anyway.

My wife says it's OK. But considering what I see get on it (obviously! how could that not be a problem?!) I wouldn't want it spraying on me anyway. It's got a shield thingy that protects it from the worst, but not what comes up from under it. Just nasty.

A separate bidet is probably fine. Never used one, though.

> hits entirely wrong for me,

It's probably installed wrong. The aim of them is typically adjusted by various sliders and stuff before doing up the bolts to hold it in place.

Better ones have a "ladies front wash" and "back wash" nozzle, with different aims.

I use a bidet that relies on water pressure from the apartment’s plumbing. No electricity needed.

It does get cold during the winter, but it’s not bad at all and it’s so much better than using toilet paper for wiping. I still use some toilet paper for drying, but far less than I used in the pre-bidet era of my life.

You can have a handshower mounted next to the toilet seat. Also: what bidets require electricity? (Except the Japanese toilet and bidet in one thing.)

> Also: what bidets require electricity?

There are some with heated seats, and some that heat the water to a comfortable temp and also some with pumps to supply more pressure. There are dozens on Amazon.

Ok, heating water makes mild sense, but heated seats would gross me out.

10 years ago I bought an unpowered toilet seat bidet just to try out the concept. Still haven't gotten around to upgrading to a powered version, because it turns out that cool water is nice. I even have a plugin next to the toilet that I had installed when the house was built, because I anticipated getting a Washlet.

I still intend to get a fancy one with warm water, heated seat, and a glowing bowl (for aiming in the middle of the night ;-)). Some day.

Electricity doesn't have a thing to do with this. Maybe you're imagining those fancy Japanese toilets that sing to you.

A bidet is just a spigot with a valve. Open valve, blast ass, get clean, close. Unless you have bizarrely cold water, this is all you could ever want or need.

My bathroom is really small and I’ve been using a poor mans bidet. Which is made up with a clean jar that I can reach and fill with water from the tub while sitting on the toilet. I then slowly empty the jar on my lower back. The water will find its way to where it needs to clean. I use my non-dominant hand’s pinky to clean better while the water is dripping. I then have a towel for drying.

Have you not been introduced to flushable wipes? Sure it's wasteful, but most folks aren't just on the paper these days smearing.

Note that flushable wipes don't really disintegrate. At least not anywhere even close to as fast as paper. So you should also save up a few bucks for the plumber. And maybe send a Christmas card every year to the local sewer utility workers.

Really? I thought paper only was still very much standard practice.

Wet wipes cost money and aren't really flushable, bidets can get germs on them and aren't standard in the US

You should seek out the endless articles about "so-called flushable wipes." Or read up about Fatbergs[1] that are often made up from those same "flushable" wipes. Sanitation organizations hates them, plumbers hate them, and you often hear about ordinances and legislation trying to restrict claiming they're flushable.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fatberg

Flushable wipes still cause issues when they're flushed. Wipes should not be flushed.

someone needs to hurry up and squat on the domain 'howtowashyourbutt.com'

I disagree with the wording, but couldnt agree more with the bidet gang.

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