I would question if we still need to work on some of these topics. Particularly #1 and #3 that you bulleted, and your example.
Sometimes you can find the explanation and it is "totally fine", if your goal is to eliminate gender discrimination. This is only a problem if your goal is equality of outcome, independent of preference.
>Women have fewer years of of experience on average because of childcare.
It has been long shown that women desire to raise children more than men. Fixing this difference would require making both men and women do something other than what they want. For what purpose, so that the numbers are symmetrical?
>Men on average work higher paying jobs, male dominated fields are on average higher paying.
As long as these fields are open and non-discriminatory to women, there is no problem! Some fields do have discrimination issues, and we should focus on that, not try to fight the market demand for occupations.
>all this stuff and then forgetting about it makes it seem like it’s totally fine that 99 men and 1 woman are senior SWEs as long as the 1 woman makes the same pay.
If women don't want to be SWEs, this isn't a problem. Last I checked, there was a massive imbalance in computer science application and graduation rates. Last I checked, SW firms were tripping over themselves to hire and promote women.
At some point, you have to question the premise that numbers would be equal if you removed unequal barriers and discrimination. At some point, if your sole metric is equal numbers, you have to force men and women to do jobs that they don't want to.