Hacker News Reader

Comment by TbobbyZ | Hacker News Reader

I’m currently going through one. Lost my religious beliefs, I have no friends, and I never have to leave my house cause I work remotely.

What keeps me going is my marriage and children. I have very problematic parents (homelessness, drug abuse, divorce). I also have multiple siblings. I have zero support or socializing from any of them.

Having people that rely on me for their well-being and knowing I can provide them a better life than I had is sustaining in the tough moments of dealing with an existential crisis.

It also helps that I strive for mastery of my craft. I’m a software architect and there is lots to learn. Even if it’s true that nothing matters, you have one life. Make it as best as you can. Very few humans can claim mastery in a skill.

View on HN

This is not an advice or example to follow by any stretch of imagination, but my case was similar. As soon as my kid was born, for me the missing piece of the puzzle finally found its place.

Why not? Cultures throughout history, part of becoming an adult was to start a family. Take that away, what does it mean to be an adult in the modern age?

That's a circular argument: the meaning of life is to create more life.

Isn’t that how feedback loops work?

You are assuming that there cannot be a culture with value so different that being adult does not have any meaning for it. Of course it would be rather short lived one (without new children its hard for any culture to propagate). Ultimately it comes to simple systemic truth - the value of adulthood comes from its usefulness for culture survival - so in I believe it does not have any intrinsic value (its only valuable from the point of view of survival of culture).

Its brave to say it all, even if anonymous/pseudonymous. Please allow me to add one comment to this: Mastery (or "standing out" as I call it) sometimes comes with feelings of separation or being alone, because who else understands?

One solution for some sanity is mentorship or teaching: Giving your insight to others willing to learn. And this can range from helpful comments to writing a tutorial or even making a video howto about things you know and care about. This type of giving/interaction - at least for me - is like a cooling balm for the sore spots of not being able to discuss one's knowhow because few understand completly as I do. (Note: I'm not talking about pure knowledge or comprehension. I, for example, come knowledgewise from the intersection of IT, journalism and design. People in each area are probably much proficient in their pure "art", but when a problem/challenge touches all three or even only two parts, it seems that I have a different - as I percive it better and faster - understanding.)

Thanks for sharing. I'm in a different boat but essentially the water is the same. I love the fact that you are striving for mastery of your craft. I don't have the luxury of that (switching jobs frequently) so I wish you good luck and stick ti your principles.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com