I've wondered about this, because I hear about bullying a lot on various neighborhood social media groups, etc. When I was in school I felt like I was a victim of bullying. Looking back with my grown-up perspective and having gone to talk to a therapist about a lot of it, there was definitely some legit bullying, and I absolutely buy that that happens to other people now. Kids can say or do some pretty cruel things, sometimes without even realizing it. And I think our hyper-connected world has made some of these dynamics worse or harder to escape.

There was, however, also just the fact that I was extremely awkward, having immigrated multiple times at key times in my social development, and I just didn't really feel connected to anyone or know how to relate to the other kids around me. I acted pretty unlikable in a lot of ways, and other kids could have been more sensitive to that but at a certain point that's just an unreasonable expectation. I interpreted the way they acted to me as bullying, but looking back that was what helped me grow out of it and be able to relate to people better.

I don't want to extrapolate from my experience and say that kids feeling bullied need to just deal with it and grow through it, but I think that's a factor in at least some other cases. What I thought of reading this article was my own experience on the other side: I moved back to near my home town after a decade away, and I messaged some people who I had felt had bullied me at one point in time but with whom I had been Facebook friends for a while. We ended up having a really good chat over lunch or something, and it was healing to feel "Hey - grown-up-you is actually pretty nice and cool, and grown-up-me is capable of talking to you and feeling mutual respect". It stopped feeling like they had bullied me, and felt more like man, growing up can be weird.