What's with the Bash replacements?

There are a gazillion posts about Bash replacements recently. Why?

I trust that you know how to make coffee. I don't care if it's drip, French press, Keurig, etc. I know that you will come to work with all the caffeine that you need.

Maybe we should geek out on beans sometimes but seriously why micro-optimize on beans? They're a means not an end.

Similarly, shell is (to crib off Cyc) the whitespace not the content. There's no there there. We might as well discuss 86 vs 87 octane or the size of a shipping container.